24/10/08
Hey, today is Jessie's birthday.
Happy Birthday Jessie.

Today is also the first day of my December holiday.
I woke up in the morning.
And when my sister woke up.
She woke me up (not on purpose)
and I thought that I need to wake up too to go to school.
It took me a few second to realise that it is holidays.
No, I did not feel like it is holiday yet.
Till now, no.
Yesterday night I did not feel anything too.
I felt nothing to be precise.
I do not even have any feeling of leaving my friends.
I know that we will not be in the same class forever.
But actually I just know, but did not feel it.
I should feel sad right.
But no, I feel nothing.

Last night, Jodi say she felt it.
The rain last night made the atmosphere feel cold.
She say she feel that she is in other country.
I feel the cold la, obviously, but duh, I am warm-blooded.

Most of my friends are feelings sad.
That means that they already felt it.

A few weeks ago,
it was after exams.
That day, I did not feel happy or anything.
Until I watched movie with my friends.
Maybe, today, after the the party at Mei Lin's house I will feel something.
I hope so.
It is weird that I am the only one that did not feel anything.
And when my friendskept telling me that it is the last day of school....
we will not be the same class anymore... will we be strangers...
and stuff like that, I hope I feel something at least, and not no feeling.
It is terrible, cause everyone is in the goodbye mood and I am the only one that is not.

I cant go out with my friends in the morning.
My friends all go watch HSM3 today,
it is the first day in the cinema, coincidentally.
And I got to day at home.
Not because my mother did not allow.
Yes, it is true that she is pretty mad that I go out with my friends a lot these day. (duh, last year together.)
It is because I have piano lesson in the afternoon.
And after that, I am sure I will be going to the party.
Which is apparently very late already.
Like 4 plus.
I dun care.
I am going.
That is finale.
And I hope that feeling will come.
It is not like I had not tried to get feeling.
I listened to sad song.
But I still could not get that feeling.

Is it because I am too strong.
Or is it because I am hurt too deep that I am immune to the pain already?
(My results made me sad.
MCP made me very sad.)

One example from my friend:
Tian Tian
She wishes time would reverse, and that everything could start from the start.
She miss everything.
The classroom, the fun during recess.
The birthdays we celebrated.
The hanging out times.
The jokes.
She asked me a question.
“Will we be the same like now a year after?”
The answer is so obvious it is no.
Are you and your P6 friends that close when you are P6.
No right.
The answer is right before your eyes.
And the only reason you think is yes, is because you cannot except the fact.

I only too tian tian as example because of convienence la.
She tagged me mah.
Then I must do the question too.
It is at her blog so I just read and I use her as example lor.

1.Do you have secrets?
2.Would you fall in love


Thank God:
1)Giving me that feeling finally.
2)Letting me go to the ML house.
3)ML's Mum.
4)Letting me know that they care for me even I am not part of them.
5)My mum never scold me.

But I wish you had no given me the feeling in such a way. From the happy way and not the sad way.
I do not hate her.

I just fall in love with the song lovin' you.
Yeah, the feeling finally came.
And I tell you it is a good feeling.

I love my friends.
Love 2e2.
Love you to death.

Today I was not unhappy for not being able to play water bomb with them.
On the contrary, I was happy.
I know my friends all cared for me.
Thanks Bibi, for you sentence, “Just one time?”
And Yi Jie, “yi ci yao bu yao?”
And everyone feeling terrible when I said I am leaving.
And thanks Mei Lin's mum, for volunteering to call my mum.
I was afraid that my mum would scold me even more when I reach home.
So I turned down the kind offer.

And no, I did not want to get wet.
So when I reach home, my mum will go on the guilt trip.
Thanks Mei Lin, Yi Jie and Jessie fetching me from the MRT.
And thanks Jodi for inviting me to go to the BBQ.
Thanks everyone, for the joy you brought me today.
Thanks for making me realise the importance of friendship and the benefits of it.
And letting me know I have them all.
;)

God, I know you are there.
So bless me.
And you did, for not letting me get wet yesterday.
I love you.